Sing iridescent white
“ ‘Indian red,’ she sang. “Mars red, venetian red, cadmium red, vermillion, and rose madder.’ There was alizarin crimson, magenta, and that thorn in the backside of the sinful, sister terra rosa.
There was cobalt blue, cerulean blue, prussian blue, ultramarine blue, and, with just a soupcon of garlic, french ultramarine blue.
‘Hansa yellow.’ She liked the sound of that one so well she sang it twice. ‘Hansa yellow’ (patron saint of jaundiced piano players). Then, ‘zinc yellow, lemon yellow, yellow ochre, mars yellow, naples yellow, and brilliant orange.
‘Thio violet, prism violet, mars violet, cobalt violet, dioxazine purple.’
Next, those nightmares of newlywed homemakers, raw sienna and burn sienna. (‘He likes his medium rare, boo-hoo.’) Raw umber and burn umber (‘There, there, dear, we’ll send out for pizza.’), van-dyke brown, brown madder, thalo copper, silver, gold oxide, and payne’s gray.
‘Viridian, o viridian! Green earth, cadmium green, hooker’s green’ (protectress of novice prostitutes) ‘and sap green’ (patron saint of voters who believe all Irish-American politicians are honest).
‘O sing mars black, lamp black, ivory black, and titanium white’ (blessed are the Caucasians who went down with the ship). ‘Sing iridescent white and light portrait pink.’ ”
—Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs And All, 1990.